shitty love

i had always felt that at a certain point in my life everything would make sense. everything would align. everything would be right in the world. it's gradual but i'm beginning to fear that that will never happen. i can begin working out again, kicking my ass every week, drinking half gallons of whole milk every day, looking in the mirror and yes, seeing the results, but by then i'll probably lose my hair or lose a parent or fall to my knees in agony for something else.

this is a terrible love letter, but if i fall apart i'll fall apart loving you.

there's nothing more beautiful than the open road.

I thought I knew my life.

I thought I knew my future.

It was laid out

like the open road.

love life

I'm having a blast. Travel west 'til west runs out. America will never end.

like an arrow

milwaukee
chicago
atlanta
wilderness
san fran
portland
seattle
denver
kansas city
chicago
milwaukee
chicago
atlanta
chicago
atlanta
wilderness
san diego
phoenix
santa fe
atlanta
albuquerque
san diego
prague?
los angeles?
another wilderness?

friends, faith, lost, found
ankle bones click
thoughts severed
inhale
find calm
find hope
find direction
find anything
find knee bent mercy
and kicked dirt dust
and ringing ear silence
and face down sympathy
and torn pulled pain
or a shout shriek shivered
unheard, unnoticed or unloved
and try to breathe again.

cross this country - cross this off

somewhere southwest.

the end of tour

The motto for 2008 was "Get Lost" which I did very well. I sold everything I had, lost the rest in California and came home broken and tired. 2010 has started with "Get Found" and it's going better than expected. I'm a business man now which means I get excited about things like this...




(it's a business card holder - if you can't tell.)

months missed

and looking back i'll never know who held the camera that day. i crumbled like stone.

Here we are-

Poetry in the digital age, I suppose, hardly seems worth reading.

If I could only go back, not to that place, but to that time. I read Dylan Thomas and listen to Van Morrison growl and think about an empty place in time, where I may find myself only half as lost.

wasted wasted youth

I've got big plans for August.

was i meant to live this way?

When I started out, this was something I was going to do. I never thought this was how I need to live. It was never supposed to continue the way it has.